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Aaaaaannnnd we’re back!

October 9, 2013 in Latest, News

Update: The more observant among you (dangit, Will and Carrie!) may have noticed that every link on this page takes you to a 404 error.  I’ll get this sorted out with the web host as soon as possible.  Grumble grumble nanites and their wily ways grumble grumble.

Those of you who are observant may have noticed a month-long hiatus for this site, wherein instead of the charming content you are now reading, you were presented with a big ol’ ugly “PERMISSION DENIED” screen.

Not to worry.  Aliens did not steal our web site.  It was stolen by mad Russian hackers.

Specifically, mad Russian hackers with evil grins and bottles of vodka ready at hand to fuel their lust for power and their desire to ruin all things good and holy in the world, starting with the demise of bouldermensa.org.  From there, who knows where their unbridled hacking spree would have led them?  Today, Boulder; tomorrow, the world – next thing you know, the U.S. government would have shut down and we’d all be eating borscht.

Well, at least eating borscht is still voluntary…. the point is: yours truly, your faithful (volunteer) webmaster, wasn’t about to let this travesty go on for any longer than 5 or 6 weeks.  Why the delay?  I’m glad you asked.  First of all, shrinking oneself down to the size of a nano-bot in order to battle evil has unexpected complications – namely, it takes much longer to cross the vast distances between information nodes in the virtual world, particularly when weighted down with supplies and weaponry.  Secondly, it’s easy to get lost, particularly when your GPS can only pinpoint your location to within a three meter radius (That’s 3 billion nanometers, for the uninitiated).

But, locate the source of evil I did.  Gathered tightly around the main data node for bouldermensa.org was a phalanx of hard, crusty, battle-worn nanites with virtual guns and knives strapped to their tiny little legs, within whose ranks were an additional cadre of elite (and frighteningly ugly) computer viruses with the words “I KEEL YOU” tattooed to their foreheads.  These guys looked to be in no mood to negotiate.  While the troops chewed on our old photographs, a small team was busily trying to burn their way through the iron door guarding our administrative password.  Fortunately, I was able to maintain the element of surprise.

Diving out from behind the dilapidated edifice of a defunct nonprofit’s web site that happened to be conveniently drifting by, I plunged myself into their midst.  Armed with my trusty Grrrontzifier hand cannon and my Jzzowwz stick (basically a cattle prod for nanites), I began laying about me for all I was worth.  Nano-bots fell left and right at my feet until I had a ring of microscopic bodies piled high around me.  Just as the battle was beginning to look decisive, the mother of all nanites came swooping down upon me and tried to devour me whole.  Fortunately, I had coated myself with a virtual substance that causes instant vomiting, dizziness and diarrhea in such creatures.  It pays to be prepared.

With the boss nanite thus dispatched, it was short work to clean up the rest.  Not that they didn’t try to put up a fight – but having already gorged themselves on several of our files, they were not at their speediest.  With the threat gone, I then began the work of patching up our sinking ship, eventually repairing and restoring our wondrous website to its full glory.

And there you have it.  True story.  And I’m back at my regular size now, thank you very much.

Epilogue: several of the damaged nanites were reprogrammed to do peaceful work building virtual roads, bridges and web sites in developing countries.  Others were refurbished and sent back to harass the original Russian hackers who dispatched them in our direction in the first place.  What goes around, comes around.  Cheers!

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Dinner August 19th

July 29, 2013 in Dinner, Latest, News

My minions have informed me that the next dinner will be at Trattoria on Pearl on Monday, August 19th.

That’s at:
1430 Pearl St.
Boulder, 80302
the map

Yes, once again it will be time to come down from our floating space-platforms and emerge from our secret underground lairs to astonish the world with SCIENCE!

All right, all right, I know that not every Boulder Mensa member is a mad scientist who routinely distorts the laws of physics and creates abominations of nature on the sly.  But, dammit, they should be.

I mean, come on, people, we’ve got all this functional grey matter and what are we supposed to do with it if not RULE THE TEEMING MASSES WITH AN IRON FIST?

Harumph.  No imagination in this crowd, I tell you.  Well, then, excuse me while I adjust my medication…

There.  All better.  Now everything is dull and gray and I’m all prepared for “dinner” without a single mind-control device or death ray in sight.  (Well, maybe one or two…)

Anyway, here’s the blurb and here’s the menu. Contrary to what anyone tells you, ordering one of each item will not earn you special bonus points unless you’re planning to share.

Tucked into the east end of the Pearl Street Mall, Trattoria
(which means “neighborhood Italian café”) on Pearl features
traditional dishes from Italy, each with chef/owner Guillermo
Casarrubias’s personal flair for culinary artistry.

The usual yadda yadda:
Gathering, drinks and socializing start at 5:30.  We get seated at 6 and order dinner around 6:30.  The skald will be given away at the culmination of some sort of arcane ritual that has yet to be devised.  It might resemble a trivia contest.  Bring books to share or some other form of entertainment with which to start a conversation.  Friends and family are welcome, except for that one relative of yours who is always, like, in my face about her colonoscopy.  Leave her at home.

See you there!

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New Web Site

February 25, 2013 in Latest, News

Welcome to the beta version of Boulder / Front Range Mensa’s new web site!

This site offers a number of improvements over the old one.  While retaining all of our old content, we’ve added groups, discussion forums, activity streams, and the ability to create your own posts and comments.  While not 100% complete, it’s ready for you to jump in and start playing!

If you’re a current member of Boulder / Front Range Mensa, log in with your username from the old site, and use your Mensa member # as your password.  You can then change your password on your profile page.

Why the change?

The old website was built on a content management system called Joomla, which I have found extremely hard to maintain — which is why things like photos haven’t been updated in several months.  (Can you say TEDIOUS?)

Enter WordPress.  Wordpress rocks.  I take back every bad thing I ever said about wordpress when it was in earlier stages of development.  As a mature, easy-to-use content management system with tons of plugins, it’s become a relatively simple matter to build a whole new site with lots of social networking capabilities.

And let’s face it, we need a site that helps us to communicate.  Imagine being able to have a discussion with every other Boulder Mensa member who wants to participate – not just those who happen to be within arm’s reach at that month’s dinner.

And… what’s that, you say?  It looks boring? Never fear.  Wordpress sites allow you to change the theme, so that we could potentially have a new look and feel to this site EVERY DAY.  (No, wait, on second thought… I’m not going to do that much work.  I have a day job.)  Suffice to say that changing the look and feel will not be an issue.  For now, just jump in and tell me what you think.  Post a comment to this article.  Friend other members.  Comment on the photos.  Start a discussion group.  Post away!